These days, saving your money is all the rage. Lots of bargain-awareness websites are cropping up, attempting to teach us all how to pinch our pennies until they squeal. Bloggers are jumping on the bandwagon too, putting themselves through hell in an attempt to show us how to feed ourselves for little or nothing. (One chick is even trying to spend less than a dollar a day on food. As for myself, I’m just not that creative. If I tried to eat for a dollar a day I’d likely end of dining on tree bark and silage.)

But that doesn’t mean I don’t know how to save a buck. I’ve been through hard times too, you know. So, I’m prepared to share with you my patented money-saving techniques. (Really, I should be trying to make a buck by selling them to you,but since I consider you all my buds I’ll give you my secrets for free. Settle in and prepare to be amazed.

1. Buy the scratchy generic toilet paper. Sure, it’s rough on your butt and abrades your lady bits like you’re wiping yourself with a kitchen scrubbie, but it’s really all in how you look at it: Considering it to be inexpensive Dermabrasion puts a whole different spin on it. You’ll have the most youthful looking bits 'n pieces on the block.

2. Re-use tea bags. Because really, those little squares of gauze are packed full of way too much flavor to properly appreciate the first time around. If the tea seems a little weak the second time, convince yourself that it’s better for you anyway due to having way less caffeine.

3. Save money on laundry by wearing your panties two days in a row. And if they really seem too ~ahem~ "used" for that, simply take them off and turn them inside out.

4. You can also save money on wash day by sharing towels with your spouse. I mean, you swap bodily fluids all the time, right? What’s a little shower residue between lovers? And in the unfortunate event of a skid mark or two, simply use the other end for drying your face.

5. Shop for groceries early and always go on an empty stomach. That way, you’ll have a much bigger appetite when you’re sneakily grazing through the grapes and the candy in the bulk food section. Early mornings also equals less staff around to spy on you.

7. If you have kids, start sending them over to visit other kids houses right around the time they eat supper. The other Mom won’t know what to do with them, and will therefore feed them a meal, thereby saving you money. This is a popular money saving strategy, and seems to be all the rage right now, at least in my neighbourhood. At least I assume it’s very popular, simply based on the number of children who magically appear at MY house most nights.

8. Disposable razors, hair removal creams and wax strips are all very expensive. Save your moolah by going au naturel and let that hair run wild! Tell your skeptical boyfriend that it’s simply a matter of fashion and is all the rage in Europe. As a bonus, you’ll actually attract more men this way, because according to those in the know rampant body hair traps all manner of pheromone-laden bodily oozings that drive the opposite sex crazy.

9. Visit the doctor more often, but only if you don’t have to pay for the visits. Since it’s almost a certainty that you’ll need to cool your heels for an eternity in the waiting room, it gives you lots of time to catch up on all the magazines you can’t afford to buy for yourself. I figure I can read a good twenty bucks worth of scandal sheets on the average visit. As a bonus, if you act pathetic and needy enough you can leave with a handful of free prescription samples.

10. Wear your outfits more than once before laundering. When you get home from work, take off your duds and hang them up neatly, so they will be clean enough to wear again later in the week. Just don’t wear the same gear two days in a row, or your co-workers will think you’re icky. As well, while you’re lounging around your house in the buff after supper make sure you keep a robe nearby, because you don’t want to answer the door with a naked fanny and scare the meter reader.